so alone

[nova_myth]

It never really hit me how alone and old I am compared to my peers. Sure I realised my age and all but it didn't distrub me too terribly unless I was in a really pitiful mood. But today in Japanese we covered family, honoric terms, and counting people and age. I'm 24, still about another year or so from just getting my associated. My mother is gone, I have no siblings, no grandparents, just my uncle who I'm not sure I consider family anymore and dozens of realtives I really don't know, even by name.

So when she wanted us to get into groups I left and retreated to the bathroom and halls. I feel so vey much alone right now.

Comments

[vermilionbird.livejournal.com]

HUG. I'll adopt ya.

[nova-myth.livejournal.com]

Oh I've been adopted by my best friends mom and dad, for a long time. But they live on the otherside of the country right now. I miss them terribly.

Recently with everything going on and my friends lives I just feel very alone.

My family suppose to be supportive, but they're not. Its hard. Somedays I want to give, but I try to be strong like my mother.

[vermilionbird.livejournal.com]

It's hard to be alone. AS far as amily goes. You can't pick them. I have ALOT of blood family I refuse to acknowledge and a ALOT of adopted "family" I love and care about. Can you call your friends parents? Sometimes a friendly voice makes all of the difference.

Stay strong, your a tough girl.

[nova-myth.livejournal.com]

Did that, but mom is sick and dad isn't the kind to listen to the woes the way I need.

-sighs-

So no luck there.

[vermilionbird.livejournal.com]

Sorry. I can send you my cell number, but you might think that is weird. The mom/therapist want to help.

[nova-myth.livejournal.com]

LOL, if you had said that an hour ago I might have taken the offer. My brain is dead tired and any power left I need to go over Japanese stuff before bed, I'm finish my test tomorrow and I got to rewrite.

Thank you really. I have so many friends, online friends, and co-workers who are there for me, it gives me strength. I think I'm gonna give up on taking classes second summer semester and save up for Christmas. I don't think I'll last another year without seeing my adoptive family for a semi-extended time.

But who knows, I might need to rant and rant bad soon. At the rate things are going I got the bad, very bad feeling, I'm going to be without net for a few days, maybe even a week or more, when I move into my Grandmother's house. I just have SO much more right now to work on getting packed, organized, planned, its nuts.

The only think keeping me from hitting a panic attack is I got net on my cell, enough that I can get into lj mobile and my emails. I can use the school labs until I get it arranged and installed if worst comes to worst for a few days.

[vermilionbird.livejournal.com]

GAW. You need help.

If you are going to be without the net by tthe weekend, I can send you the next chapter to HOTF. It's trivial and unimportant compaired to all of the things going on in your life, but sometimes you need a break.

[nova-myth.livejournal.com]

Ah, but I have the net on my phone! And even though ff.net does not have a mobile site my phone is able to read it properly (most of the time). So as long as stories are posted on ff.net or someone on my friends list I can read them without a problem. Anywhere else.. and I'm not gonna do well unless the site has a mobile section.

And I won't be without the net but for a few days, Sat and Sunday at most for the weekends because I'm cleaning out my grandmother's house. Its at the end of the month when I move out completely I might be without net to my laptop. The move date is set securely on the 28th of Feb. I'm gonna try and get a date secured for a company to come out and install the net just before or a few days after I move in. Worst comes to worst it will be a few weeks max.

But my phone is secure, so while I'll be a bit deprived, I won't be completely cut off. I can't really write emails that well let alone upload or send fics for betas.

[vermilionbird.livejournal.com]

Okay. If you think you'll be fine, I'll trust you. If I had the net on my phone, I would never be off of it. I can't be out of sight range of the little gem as it is. It's like crack.

Just hang in there. You can add me to the list of people you can rant to. I'll listen.

Are you totally removing all items from your grandma's house, or just the clothes and personal stuff? That would be hard to clean someones things from their house.

[nova-myth.livejournal.com]

Just trying to move the stuff out of the rooms I'll be using and moving my stuff into it since my Uncle didn't have the estate sale. They're not happy with me stuff the other rooms but what am I gonna do? The agreement was for two rooms, the bedroom and the sewing room for me to put my desk and stuff in.

-sighs-

I REALLY don't want have to clean that kitchen. There was a bit of a rat problem for a long time and while I've been assure they buggers are gone their messes in the cabnits are not...

OI. But if I'm gonna find the holes and fill them I may not have a choice. I'm putting that off until NEXT weekend if I can't get someone to come clean it..

-shudders-

Yeck!

Seriously, if they want me to really pack up stuff for storage or donation they need to wait for me to be IN the house! Argh.