nova_myth: (Default)
I saw the Last Lecture on youtube two years ago and even bought the book. I read halfway through but couldn't finish it because it hit so close to home with my own experience with my mother. I hope someday I will have the strength to finish it. But what I have taken away from it and continued to pester me were the list of dreams. I suppose I'll make my own and hope that shuts up the nagging for a while since the list is true to my heart. I don't remember what the number was of the list, only it was short.

-live and teach in Japan
-find love, be married, have kids
-go to disney world with my friends
-fly in a fighter plan
-go to space
-travel the world

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nova_myth: (Moon)
I've seen The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch on You Tube. I first heard of it months ago on Good Morning America on ABC. It is truely a must see lecture. Randy Pausch is dying, there is nothing that can be done, from cancer. I think the title of the lecture and that fact speak volumes. But his lecture is on dreams, and that your dreams are possible. It is not on how to, but an inspirational lecture.

I recently bought the book through Amazon, it was completely sold out at book stores in my area. But I had to stop reading it. It reminded me too much of my mom. Not so much on her battle and dying, but how she should have spent the last few months of her life, painful as they were. Cancer may have killed her body, but my family riped her spirit and heart. Instead of being there for my mother, they did nothing. My mother was forced to take care of my Grandmother while receiving chemotherapy and radiation. She had lung cancer, and when it was discovered it was in her brain. But no, they refused to help. As many family members as we had they could have taken shifts. My uncle could have taken a secure three months leave from work, paid mind you, but he didn't. And while my mom was trying to take care of my Grandmother, who was a demanding slave driver bitch, I was trying to take care of my mom; Because yet again they refused to come to the table. They cited oh so many things, oh I have this, oh I have that. And these family members I am talking about are RETIRED!  They bitched at my mother for me not going to school, adding more stress. I was still in high school, in my senior year, and I was NINETEEN! 

Two days ago was the 4th anniversary of my mother's death. Thank god for my job. As crazy and hectic as it is, I love it. And I have another reason, I forgot it exactly what day it was. Not like I totally forgot, but I wasn't fixated on it, I wasn't in a bout of depression. It was there in the back of my mind, but almost like it was an unreal after thought. It crashed in once I got home and away from school and those kids. 

Maybe one day, bit by bit, I'll be able to finish the book. But so far, its a truely good book.


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March 2012

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