Well, things aren't better
Mar. 3rd, 2009 05:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nova_mythStuff is just pilling on, stress is building. I'm at one of those depressed days I haven't been at in a long, long time. Nothing has really made me smile, deep down anyways. I smiled a few times today during class but nothing 'touched' the true me. Its swallowed up right now with so many problems. I'd most likely be having panic/anxiety or some kind of attacks if I was still in the Shit hole. So much so, I called into work without 'physically' being ill. Today was just too much. I'm hurting body wise, guess from the last two weeks catching up with me, true but I'm also hurting mentally and emotionally. I would have not been any good today. My energy been gone pretty much. Getting out of bed, bathing dummy shit Yoko who had to ROLL in shit this morning, getting to class, it about winded me. I had to go to Costco to get water, none left, and that really did wipe me clean. And that was over three hours ago.
-sighs-
I hate calling in, I feel guilty if I'm not completely unable to work, but with my emotions as they were and my mental stress.... I just know I wouldn't be able to handle anything with 20 of them, even if my partner took the lead. I just could not gather the strength and that's how I knew to call in. I hope I can just go to bed early and for me to be able to get a solid 7 hours of sleep for the first time in a long time. The past month plus I've been going on about 6 hours, and that's been broken up into two or three parts cause I keep waking up for a reason or another...
Things aren't collasping, but they aren't going smoothly, and with the jumbling following the move that been adding a lot of pressure.
What I am getting at is basically I don't feel like myself. Nothing 'touches' my core, its curled up and trapped beneath something right now. So bad, so much so, that even reading about sparklings isn't helping. And that is the biggest damn clue you can get how far I'm feeling down today.
Why did I wake with such a slump? No idea. Its just one of those days you wake up and while the world is in the same colors as always you feel as if its in shades of gray.
-sighs-
I hate calling in, I feel guilty if I'm not completely unable to work, but with my emotions as they were and my mental stress.... I just know I wouldn't be able to handle anything with 20 of them, even if my partner took the lead. I just could not gather the strength and that's how I knew to call in. I hope I can just go to bed early and for me to be able to get a solid 7 hours of sleep for the first time in a long time. The past month plus I've been going on about 6 hours, and that's been broken up into two or three parts cause I keep waking up for a reason or another...
Things aren't collasping, but they aren't going smoothly, and with the jumbling following the move that been adding a lot of pressure.
What I am getting at is basically I don't feel like myself. Nothing 'touches' my core, its curled up and trapped beneath something right now. So bad, so much so, that even reading about sparklings isn't helping. And that is the biggest damn clue you can get how far I'm feeling down today.
Why did I wake with such a slump? No idea. Its just one of those days you wake up and while the world is in the same colors as always you feel as if its in shades of gray.
