I just want you to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. I remember how horrible my first Xmas without my mother was. Well, I was sick as a dog with the flu, which actually helped some because I was too sick to care about much. I really lost interest in celebrating after that. Like you, things are strained with my relatives. Friends spread all over the U.S. I know you feel alone, even though you do have friends around to hang with. That kind of lonliness is on the *inside* and no amount of people can take it away. I'm guessing you were especially close to your mom. I always said mine was the only person who ever really loved me. But it does get easier. This is my 3rd Xmas without her now. For the first time I was actually in the mood to do a little enjoying, but all the drama with my roommate squelched that. Yeah, I know about roommates making it harder! Too bad they can't have just an ounce of sensitivity, but I guess it's all about *them*. Tonight I'm just gonna hang out in my room and watch some Moonlight eps, maybe write some (it's my way of escape). Tomorrow, Xmas, I'll be working. We get the day before the holiday off. I'm not really feeling too sad this year though. More disappointed I didn't get to do the things I wanted to. Heck, I was too stressed to get cards sent out! If you ever need or want to talk to someone who's gone through that same loss, I'm here. I can give you my email address, if you want, just let me know, or you can drop me a private message through lj, I think.
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Date: 2007-12-24 03:28 pm (UTC)If you ever need or want to talk to someone who's gone through that same loss, I'm here. I can give you my email address, if you want, just let me know, or you can drop me a private message through lj, I think.