nova_myth: (ORLY?)
 I am just having one hell of a mood today. Its my day off from work but I'm listless and almost depressed. I just can't get my fix or something. Usually I'll find a story from any of the fandoms I follow updated and my brain goes wandering. But today I'm just listless, I only did laundry because of my meeting tomorrow so I had the whole day to brainstorm and I'm just cut dry on my stories. I know what I want to happen next but its just... blah. Nothing flowing. I won't be able to do any this weekend, I'll be studying the lesson plans I have to do next week and the ongoing month from now where I'll be incharge of kinders. 

I'm even eating sour pickles! That's how moody I am. Even my favorite stories, fan fiction or mainstream books aren't doing anything. I just can't get interested in anything. Ands thats saying something there too. I'm not a book freak, though maybe to most people my age I am I guess, but I got my favorites and usually I don't have a problem picking them up and reading. 

My house-mate was surprisingly quiet today, no slamming doors, so I got a relief there. I doubt that's going to carry on through the weekend. 

I just keep swing, I feel urges of wanting to cry. That gives me a clue.. Mom's birthday was a few days back and I was so busy with work it didn't hit till now. Usually when I get depressed and then moody to cry its got something with my mom that I'm not even realizing at the moment. My friend's mom picked up on that and pointed it out to me a few years ago. Maybe also the bombshell that was dropped today. I was planning to go to New Hampshire to visit my friend's family but they think their going to go to Kentucky to spend christmas with Grandma. They didn't say it but I remember why I couldn't go last Christmas; space, if any other family members plan to stay over there I can't fit, its tight to begin with. Plus the damn plane tickets. I'm still waiting on my rebate/stimilus what ever you want to call them checks. I'm going to have to use it to knock the few hundred dollars I just can't seem to pay off on my credit card, my only one truely. I had been planning to putting that away for the airline ticket, but now... even if they don't go to Kentucky or I'll fit I may not have the money to do the whole deal. I have to board my dogs...

That's also probrably what got me in my mood. Just trying so hard not to cry is difficult, I'm not that upset but the gates want to open. Its so frustrating.
nova_myth: (Default)
Nearly seven years ago my mother bought me a hat. Not just any hat. She bought me a red faux python skin cowgirl hat at the rodeo. This rodeo was special because my best friend who was an exchange student from China was with us. That hat became a special hat and I took it on trips no matter how large or small. And it had been stolen two years later. Last week I found almost exact replica on the internet. It arrived today. Same weight, same feel. The pattern is a little bit different and it doesn't have the little rhinestones on the front but other than that it is exactly the same. I feel whole in a little way that had been broken. Its not the same hat, but it still brings memories when I look at it. And more importantly I can continue to make memories. It also helps I look good it in! Hard to believe, its red snake skin, but it does.

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nova_myth

March 2012

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